No fucking clue... moving east?

I quit… I can’t write a post about my ongoing experience in Australia. I’ve been typing for the last three days, but so far nothing I’ve written even remotely translates the roller coaster of feelings I’ve been going through. I believe much of what I’m feeling is directly connected to the fact that, culturally, Australia is simply too familiar—I’m not in Asia anymore.

For the first time in my life, I feel completely displaced. I consider myself a rather adaptable person who, with more or less difficulty, usually manages to merge into his surroundings. But, bizarrely enough, after ten days of traveling along the southwestern Australian coast, my body and mind still struggle to adapt to Western society. I am totally and completely lost. I don’t know where to go, what to do, or what to think. I feel lonely and swallowed by a tremendous continent. If I still had enough money, I would take the first plane back to Asia. Any country would do. I’d spend the rest of my remaining months of travel absorbing as much as I could from Asian culture.

I miss so many things… so many. I miss the faces, the skin, the eyes, the smiles, the words, the touch—the pushes, the pulls, the rush, the chaos, the pollution. I miss the crowds, the markets, the food, the trees, the flowers, the scents, the colors, the shapes, the heat, the humidity, the rain, the sun, the moon, the clouds, the skies, the stars, the constellations. I miss the freedom to move anywhere, anytime, anyhow—to rent a motorbike without a license and drive for hours through remote places. I miss the children—their happiness, their laughter, their wild shouts. I miss the buffaloes, cows, pigs, and chickens running across the roads. I miss the ancient cultures, the spirituality, the struggle, and the hardworking people. I miss the freedom, the self-regulating anarchy, the lack of rules, the strength of human connection.

In Australia, the only thing I know is that I have to move east. I have a flight booked on April 28th from Sydney to Bali. Other than that… I have no fucking clue.